Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bling!


It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Last December, I attended a few Christmas parties, and for each one, I dressed up a little bit. Just a bit. Black slacks, sweater, jewelry. For one party, I decided to wear a necklace I'd picked up at a second hand store a few months before. It has six or seven rows of faux pearls, shiny beads, and chains. My friend Michelle calls it my "bling." It does make a statement.

It's pretty, but it is heavy. The last time I wore it, the weight of it on my neck gave me a headache. I didn't want to risk a headache at a Christmas party so I got creative. First, I pinned the necklace to the collar of my shirt. That just made my shirt ride up the back of my neck.

Then I had a stroke of genius. Or a stroke. Not sure which. I decided to tie the necklace to a belt loop on my slacks.

Like I said, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I got the fishing line from the desk in the kitchen and measured off a length of nylon string to run from my necklace, down my back, to my belt loop.I tied the string to my belt loop, and then tied the other end to my necklace. Once I got the necklace on, I discovered the string was just a tad too long. I called on Abby to help.

"You want me to do what?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's heavy. It might give me a headache," I explained.

"You could just take it off if it starts to give you a headache," she suggested.

And have no bling? I thought. What kind of statement would that make?

"Just retie it to my belt loop," I told her. "Make it a little shorter."

She did as I requested and sent me on my way to work.

I was so proud of myself. I made a point to sit down carefully, so as not to over-stress the string. Everything was fine. I looked blingy, and no headache worries. I was a genius.

Yes, everything was fine. Until I needed to use the ladies' room.

I soon realized my genius plan wasn't quite so genius. I ended up taking off the necklace, feeding it down my back, and sticking it in my pocket. When I returned to my desk, I cut off the nylon string and decided to risk getting a headache. Besides, I could always take it off if I started to get a headache. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

So, yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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